The Question

"No, she is not breathing" said the doctor coming out of the ICU. 

I felt a jerk in my heart. Silence surrounded me and made me able to listen to my own lifeless heartbeats. I was feeling as if someone suddenly stabbed me, right there in my soul. 

My vision was blurred. With tears on waterline as I entered the ICU. 

She was there, on the bed. Seeing her in this condition was the most painful thing. I was feeling like she will get up in some seconds and ask me, "did you eat?" . But deep inside my heart I knew, this time she will not say anything. 

The hands that were always with me , were frozen now. Her eyes were open, as if she is still watching me. 

I held her hand , tightly, very tightly. But this time she did not move her hands. 

All the memories were playing in my head as a beautiful movie with a drastic end. Those nights when I simply laid on my bed in fever and she woke up all night taking care of me. Those days when getting a new dress for herself didn't matter but getting me my favorite dress was important. I can't stop myself from remembering all those magical days I have spend with her. I can't see her this way. I can't see her leaving me forever. 

 I wanted to hug her as tight as I always used to. I hugged her , but this time she did not hug me. 

 "Mom, will you please talk to me , just for some seconds. Will you please look at me , in the same way you always did" I cried. I just cried , cried and cried. 

 Her eyes were open, she was lying in front of me, I was holding her hands. But this time she left me. 

 Yes, she left me forever.

I have always seen her smiling, adoring me. And now I was seeing her, the breathless her. She always said a mother-child bond is different, they are inseparable. And I believe her, we are inseparable. But what about the space she left behind in my life? 

 As a body, I was complete. But as a soul, I was finished.

"How will I live now" my heart echoed. No one knew the answer of this question. Mom never told me the answer.

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About the Author

Pankhuri Sharma is a 16 year old girl who finds it difficult to express her feelings and thus she choose to express them through her writing.

Writing has helped in her own self discovery, a better understanding to her being and in developing a fonder connection with people around.