The Resilient Woman

Dr Patricia O'Gorman, PhD, American psychologist and author, wrote the book the resilient women mastering the seven steps to personal power to address specifically women as more vulnerable humans to lose power.

Dr Patricia O'Gorman

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Self-expectations and other expectations lead women who think their primary responsibility is to take care of others to influence all aspects of their lives and their sexuality. The emotional, sexual, and physical stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “ It is a girl.” (Shirley Chisholm)

The secret weapon to deal with life stressors is our resilience. Leading a normal life in the face of all kinds of traumas is called resilience. We are labelled resilient because we can recover from adversity experienced. Like our body, which has the ability to heal after disease and injury, our mind, is also resilient. We can draw a parallel between our body, which builds antibodies, and our mind, ready for more significant challenges following stress. Women like political activist Aung San Suu Kyi of Myanmar, Kris Carr, cancer survivor, activist, and blogger on Crazy, Sexy, Wellness Revolution who have overcome challenges and have become successful in the face of all adversities prove our capacity to promote resilience. A new start, countering the negative thoughts and trying again when our plan does not work, demonstrate resilience in small ways.

The ability to master the art of resilience potentially exists in all women. Some extra focus and attention are required to be in charge of our lives and gain our power to understand what we need. Our resilence is there to help us to make the right decision. The ability to know what we need, the vision to overcome the obstacles to our self-care, and the strength and courage to act on that knowledge are considered to be steps toward resilience. What can assist us in believing ourselves to meet challenges are our past victories.

Do Your Girly Thoughts rule you?

Where your worth comes from your looks or who you are?

Do you criticize your body shape and size?

Do you think you need to be perfect to get what you deserve?

When you miss the opportunity, are you critical of yourself by saying that I deserve this?

Are other women blamed by you because of their misfortunes? (such as an unfaithful partner) on their weight, clothes, or age?

Do you fear to be less attractive as you get older?

Do you think the more successful you are, the less desirable you are for your partner?

Do you have a reluctance to state your opinion in your work or your relationships?

Do you consider yourself a culprit in conflicts instead of thinking that other people may be responsible for what happened?

Do you feel life will reward you as you wish if you are a good girl?

Your answers to these questions identify whether your Girly thoughts control you or not.

By answering the following questions, you can start to fight your girly thoughts:

What about your dress or your body make you worried and less?

What self-image causes you to be anxious and disgusting?

What repetitive negative thoughts make you feel inferior?

Which goal do you think are not achievable because you are a woman?

Which personal failure perceived by you cause you to expect and accept

Undesirable behaviour of others?

Which expectations of society are fulfilled by you to be rewarded?

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Written by Mahtab

An Iranian writer and women rights activist